How Can I Prepare My Child For A New Sibling?

Every parent remembers the day they brought home their first baby. They might have felt excited, scared, overwhelmed, or anxious. As that child grows older, many parents will begin to think about having a second child and maybe eventually adding a third, fourth, or even more children to their family. Changes in family status related to having additional children can be large stressors for those children that will become older siblings. It is important to consider how having another child will affect your older child.

Parents will spend a lot of time attending to the new baby’s needs and this can be a very stressful experience for an older sibling. The National Association of School Psychologists (NASP) defines stress as the way that our body responds to the demands made upon us by the environment, our relationships, and our perceptions and interpretations of our demands. It is important to remember that even young children experience stress. Helping your older child learn ways to cope with stress can be beneficial.

According to NASP, the following are some of the symptoms of stress in children:
• Sleep difficulty or nightmares
• Inability to concentrate
• Toileting or eating concerns
• Headaches or stomachaches
• Unexplained fears or increased anxiety (that can also take the form of clinging)
• Regression to earlier developmental levels

Making sure that older children continue to feel included and like important members of the family is vital. Doing this can help children deal with the stress and adjust to the changes related to having a new sibling. It is important to remain proactive when adding a new baby to your family by helping an older child understand what changes will occur before they happen. Nemours recommends the following tips to help your older child understand how important their new role as an older sibling can be:

• Encourage your older child to help pick out different items for the new baby’s room.
• Select a special gift that your older child may like to share with the baby, such as a favorite toy or book. Prepare a gift that the new baby may give to the older child.
• Your older child may enjoy having a special chair for him or her to feel included when doing activities in the new baby’s room.
• Have a picture of the older child in the new baby’s room.
• Arrange special time just for you and your older child.
• Read stories or role-play scenarios that will help your older child understand what is happening in the family.
• Prepare the older sibling by talking about what to expect when the baby comes home.
• Reinforce your older child’s role in the family, saying that he or she will be the “big brother/sister” to the new baby and let your child revel in this new role.
• Think of ways that your child can be involved and help once the new baby is born.

Once your new baby is home, it is important to remember that older children may continue to struggle as they try to adjust to the new addition to the family. Encourage your child to express his or her feelings about the new baby to you. Nemours advises that if a child is unable to articulate those feelings, do not be surprised if he or she tests limits or reverts to speaking in baby talk. It is important not to bend rules for your older child if he or she misbehaves, but rather understand what feelings may be motivating the behavior. Your child may need additional one-on-one time with you, but make it clear that although his or her feelings are important, your child must express them appropriately.

Adding a new baby to your family is a process and it is important to remember that not all children will adjust at the same rate. Continue to be understanding with your child as he or she adjusts and guide him or her appropriately.

If your older child continues to experience stress or you would like assistance in learning how to best prepare your child for a new baby, seek professional help. Please contact us and schedule a consultation appointment today.

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